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Matt’s Corner: The One with all the Shopping

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This edition of Matt’s Corner is sponsored by PBJ’s Department Store, so please forgive the “ads.”

 

Manager: “Hi. I’m the manager. You wanted to talk to me?

Shopper 1: “Yes. you’re lines are too long! Open more registers!”

Manager: “All of our registers are open, ma’am. We have 20 employees working extremely hard to keep up with all of the holiday foot traffic.”

Shopper 1: “Well, why aren’t you at a register?!”

Manager: “I had to leave my register to come talk to you.”

One of the store phones ring. An employee answers.

Employee 1: “Thank you for calling PBJ’s department store. How can I help you?”

Caller 1: “Is this PBJ’s department store?”

The phone rings again. Another employee answers.

Employee 2: “Thank you for calling PBJ’s department store. Can I help you?”

Caller 2: “I don’t know. Can you?”

Employee 2: “Pardon?”

Caller 2: “You should’ve said ‘May I help you?’ It’s proper grammar.”

Employee 2: “Actually, can is correct in this case, because I, the cashier, am able to help you.”

Caller 2: “What are you, the grammar police?”

The assistant manager was called into the clothing department due to a stubborn customer’s complaint.

A.M.: “Is there a problem, sir?”

Customer: “Yes. I want to buy this shirt, and it’s on sale for 75% off, but your cashier won’t let me have the discount, even though I found this sale sign right next to it!”

A.M.: “Sir, that sign is from our ‘US Bicentennial’ sale in 1976 and it’s for toys, not clothing.”

Customer: “I don’t care what it says. I found it stuck behind a shelf, face down, covered in dust, in the back of the area closed for remodeling, so I expect you to honor it.”

Overheard in the Book Department: “How much is 50% of $100?” asked a teen buying an AP Calculus book.

 

Daffynition: Clearance [noun/adj]: 1. A sale for old, underselling, and/or broken merchandise. 2. Cheap junk you can buy as a last minute holiday gift (if you don’t mind your friends and family giving you a funny look).

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Matt’s Corner: The One with all the Shopping