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Matt’s Corner: The One in the Middle of Spring

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My family celebrated Easter this Sunday. Don’t get me wrong-I love Easter.

But I’m 15 ½ years old, and I still can’t figure out what kind of animal lays those plastic eggs.

A man and a woman were walking through a beach town’s shopping district. The woman says, “You know, I can’t believe how many tourist shops they have here. There are barely any regular shops!” The man says, “I know. How do the people who actually live here get around?” The woman says, “Exactly. Now hold that thought. Let’s stop in this pharmacy and get some sunscreen.” They go into the pharmacy, and ask the cashier here the sunscreen is. The cashiers says:

“Sorry, we only sell souvenirs. If you want sunscreen, go to the Walmart down the highway.”

A man and his daughter are at a fast food restaurant. The daughter says, “Daddy, would you like a crunchy french fry?” The man says, “Sure, honey.” The man eats the french fry, and then the daughter offers him another. “Thanks, honey,” he says as he takes the french fry. After he eats that french fry, he asks the daughter, “Can I have some more?” The daughter says, “Sorry, daddy. I gave you all the french fries I could find under the table.”

A woman rushed to the hospital after finding out her husband was in an accident. However, she didn’t know what happened to him. When she got to the hospital, she asked the nurse which room he was in. The nurse said, “Rooms 100, 101, 102, and 103.” The woman said, “Which one?” The nurse said, “All of those. He was run over by a steamroller.”

Spring [noun]: 1. Season between winter and summer. 2. Part of the year when animals come out of hibernation, birds migrate north, and plants start to bloom again. 3. The time when your winter weight becomes just plain fat.

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Matt’s Corner: The One in the Middle of Spring